My Favourite Autumn Self-Care

Autumn truly seems to be the season of self-care. Everyone’s sharing their self-care routines, so I guessed I’d jump on the bandwagon.

Favourite Autumn Self-care

My self-care routine is so important to me, and I am incredibly protective of it and my time. Last year I experienced what it is to be burnt out, and it is a feeling I will never forget. Never again. Self-care, and taking the time to focus on myself and my needs, has truly helped to change me and my view of the world, and I frequently advocate starting a self-care routine to my friends.

1. Sleep

I am an absolute cow if I had not had enough sleep. I really struggle to function, so I strive every night to get a minimum of 7 hours of sleep. This seems to be the ideal for my body, although it may not be for you.

I’m working improve the quality of those seven hours as well. I meditate before bed, to calm my mind and breathing. I journal, which helps to quieten my overthinking brain long enough for me to actually fall asleep. I recently upgraded my pillows for the first time ever, and it was quite possibly the best thing I ever did! They’re firm, and ideal for a constant side sleeper like me. Don’t get me wrong, they still make me feel like I’m sleeping on a cloud, but a firm, supportive cloud that takes the weight off my shoulders.

2. Journalling

I am a person who overthinks things. I cannot seem to help it. My mind has a really bad habit of racing off at four-hundred miles an hour, and I am helpless to stop it. Journalling takes these loud, shouty, muddled thoughts out of my brain and splurges them out on paper, where I can read and re-read them to my heart’s content. This allows me to sort and make sense of them, rather than trying to catch them as they race around fighting for air-time in my head.

Journalling has helped me think through some really difficult decisions and figure out what’s really in my head and heart on more than one occasion, and I absolutely love it. The written word is a special kind of magic given to humankind, and I think writing it by hand just enhances that magic.

Journalling takes a great many forms, from poetry writing to diaries to braindumps, so work through some different options to see what works for you.

3. Alone Time

I am an introvert, and by nature, introverts need to be alone, at least to recharge. Whenever I’m in need of a little creative boost, or I’m starting to feel what I now know to be social burnout, or I just need a wee recharge, I cart myself off somewhere quiet to live inside my head for a while. It’s one of the reasons I love this blog so much. I’m invested in it, and so have no issues with taking myself off, whacking in my headphones, shutting out the world and just writing. It is so therapeutic, and I just love it. Wandering Scotland does in a way act as a second journal, as it’s another place for me to spill out all my thoughts and inner musings out from my brain and into the written word.

Bonus: candles!!

As I said last week, I love smelly things! Absolutely love them. And I have a real love of the more autumnal, rugged scents like cinnamon and pine. They’re just so cosy and comforting and warm. There’s also something just so delicately romantic about candlelight; how the flame flickers, casting gentle, subtle shadows across the room. I love sitting and relaxing in a room lit by candles. It feels almost magical.These are my

These are my favourite self-care tips and tricks, particularly for Autumn and Winter. But I’m curious – what are yours? How do you guys journal? Is it just a nightly brain dump, or do you take time to structure and perfect the prose?

Bell Bay Beach, Isle of Cumbrae

5 Things That Make Me Feel Feminine

Things that make me feel feminine

*This post contains affiliate links, which means that I get a small commission from any purchase you make!*

I used to be the biggest tomboy out. I know that may sound hard to believe now given my high-maintenance, divaesque, never-seen-without-makeup personality now, but when I was around about the age of just starting high school I was probably closer to a boy than a girl in appearance and personality. I was a fairly early bloomer, and given my current confidence with my (reasonably ample) bosom you may find this a fair stretch of the imagination, but I did everything possible to hide my growing chest. I hated wearing skirts and dresses, and actively avoided wearing them, and protested loudly and frequently when forced to wear them by my mum or that one time I had to wear one on a school trip to The Scotland Street School in Primary 7.

All this behaviour may have been mildly influenced by the fact that I tended to be a lot friendlier with guys than girls in school, and so spent more time around them, but it’s true, I used to be a boy.

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Nowadays, however, I truly, freely and openly enjoy and embrace my womanhood, and encourage all women to do the same. No matter where on the spectrum of girly girl to tomboy to beyond you fall, your womanhood and femininity holds power. Embrace it. Use it. Use that power which they cannot take from you and be all that you want to be. Being a woman is great. Yes, there are some downsides – periods, the gender pay gap etc, but there are so many fabulous things about being a woman, and I drawn strength from my femininty. My womanhood gives me the power to be who I want to be, whether that means today when I want to wear a floaty, floral skirt, or tomorrow when the leather biker jacket comes out to play. These are all the facets of a woman, and they are all the facets of me.

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Sometimes, when I’m needing a little pick-me-up and strength from that Venus within me, I call upon some little tricks I know to make myself feel just that sparkle more feminine and fabulous.

1. Lingerie

In makeup, if your foundation and base is perfect, you feel on point, and that you can’t really go wrong. Well, in my opinion, the same can be said for you rclothing. Lingerie has that fabulous little trick of making you feel special, that you can take on the world and all its pile of shit that it throws at you. I believe that every woman should truly invest and explore the world of lingerie, be it for her someone special, or even better if it’s entirely for herself. Do a little research, find out what fits your body, and then head into town and try on a load of different stuff. Find what works for you and brings out your inner diva. Believe me, she’s in there.

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I do have a real fascination with lingerie. I love how confident and sassy it makes me feel. The variety of styles and fabrics just fills me with wonder, and more often than not, lingerie specific shops make the shopping experience feel so much more wonderful than regular high street shops. I mean, Boux Avenue lets you change the lighting in your changing room to what you believe to be more flattering for yourself. Plus, the changing room’s decor is just lush.

2. Satin and Silk

Speaking of fabrics frequently found in lingerie, I find the textures of silk and satin to be the most elegant, sensual thing on the planet! they just feel so luxurious to feel and touch, and they make me feel like an utter goddess whenever I’m wearing or even just touching them.

3. Freshly Shaved Legs

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The only thing that makes silk and satin feel even more luxurious and sensual is when you wear it immediately after you’ve just shaved your legs. Smooth legs and the smooth feeling of silk – divine! Your hair preference is your hair preference, but I just always feel 100% more feminine just after I’ve shaved or waxed. I just kind of feel a little disgusting and icky when I haven’t shaved in a while. I know we have hair on our bodies for a reason, but I, persoanlly, could do without it.

4. Make Up

If you have seen me without makeup in the past 2-3 years, then you have seen a truly rare sight indeed. Makeup is my daily mask. I just don’t feel put together and on point without it. I love makeup because it helps me hide my acne scars, a thing I am very self consious about. And besides, who doesn’t feel more like a girl when painting their face with lots of pretty colours and products.

5. Perfume

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I hate smelly people! Really hate them. Why haven’t you showered, or bought deodorant, or just not come here today? I joke. I’m not that offended, just really annoyed. I have a really sensitive sense of smell, so any foul scents in the air really affect me. I’m always really conscious of being smelly, and take great care to keep my personal hygiene levels as high as possible. If I smell, it makes me feel really uncomfortable.

I love perfume and nice smelly things. I waste hours wandering around candle shops and places like The Body Shop just sniffing things. There are certain scents that make me feel particularly feminine, such as lavender and violet. Sandalwood, a scent usually considered to be a little more masculine, is a smell that I consider to be quite sensual and seductive. I always feel really confidant and sexy wearing perfumes scented with Sandalwood. My signature scent at the minute is Hugo Boss Nuit Pour Femme, which feature base notes of crystalline moss and creamy sandalwood, which makes me feel so confident and sexy, and I just love it. I also love Ma Vie, the daytime version of the scent when I’m looking for a more delicate scent.

Like I said, there are some days I wake up, and I feel like I need to channel a little of my masculine side. And that’s OK. But on the days I’m needing to feel all girly and feminine and delicate, these are some of the things I turn to.

I’m curious; what are some of the things that make you feel feminine? Or conversely, what do you turn to on the days you feel like channelling your inner guy and need some of your more masculine traits on offer?

 

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Do I Have High Standards in Relationships?

relationships high standards

I’m going to let you in on a well-known secret;

I have never been in a relationship. Never. Not one. If you took a look at my dating history it probably looks a little bit like this…

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Yah. To be honest there’s more action in that GIF than there is in my love life.

But I digress.

I spent a ridiculous amount of time in my teenage years believing there was something very wrong with me because everyone had been in a relationship of some form or another and then there was me.

 

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As an INFP, love, and a strong relationship that builds me up and supports me, is something truly very important to me, and so for years my inability to make that special connection with someone was really, really hard for me, and meant that for years I had some serious issues with my self esteem. Yes, I know its a little cliche to have based my self-worth on men but hey, I was a hormonal, angsty teenager. I’m allowed to be a sad individual!

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Now that I’m a little older and wiser (and grouchier) I understand that a man’s love, and men in general, do not have anything to do with your self worth. I am a strong, independent woman who just really wants someone to cuddle.

I call myself a realistic dreamer (which really isn’t a thing, but I’ve decided it is so…) and although I want the fairy tale, with all the romance and the Prince Charming and the true love, I know that doesn’t really exist. Real relationships take work, but the work is what makes it fun, and I am looking forward to the chance to put in that work with another person. Mind you, if he ain’t putting in the work then he be out on his ass.

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Queen B!!

When I talk to my friends and family about relationships and my lack of, I usually get one of two responses;

“It’ll just happen one day. One day you’ll meet someone and it’ll all make sense”

or

“Maybe your standards are too high.”

Damn right my standards are high! I am fabulous, a queen who can handle any and all shit that life throws at me. Why in the hell should I ‘lower’ my standards to pick up some weak ass I’m gonna have to drag around after me. My high standards have nothing to do with your inability to keep up with me and my dreams and ambitions. Yes, I would quite like to make a genuine connection with someone, but I am not that desperate for any kind of connection that I’ll settle for a crappy, half-arsed relationship just to find it.

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With regards to the former piece of sage advice – I do agree. I do wish that it would perhaps happen a little sooner, but unlike my younger, more desperate self, I am now content to be a badass career woman with ‘ridiculously high standards’ and carry on being a Queen and building up my kingdom until someone comes along with King potential. Well, maybe consort potential. Ain’t nobody getting my throne.

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Tell me ladies, have any of you been told you have high standards? Anyone any other input, or sassy retorts to those mere mortals in awe of our high standards of greatness?

high standards in relationships

Still waiting…

Hi guys,

I wrote in last weeks goals post that some of my goals were to spend some time “finding” myself. I had put them into the relationships category of my goals, because I’ve come to the conclusion that my non-existent love life probably stems from me not really being ready or knowing myself properly, so therefore send out all the wrong signals, so spending a little time getting to know me might help me “get to know” someone else. And I do stand by what I wrote last week.

However, taking time to be alone and single and wait for “the one” to get his arse in gear and show his face is all well and good, but I do have some major issues with this plan.

First off, I am not a patient person . Waiting is not something I am good at. Never has been. So waiting for something that may happen at some undetermined point in the future really is actually quite difficult.

Secondly, I am terrified.

If you ask me what it is I want in life, my honest answer is not “to have lots of money” or “have a successful career”, it’s to be loved. And not loved in the way that you’re by your mother or father or brother. I want that special, butterflies in your stomach, tingly, one of a kind love you get from loving that someone special.

I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone.

I am terrified that I will live the entirety of my life without feeling of joy that I see my friends in relationships have.

I know the likely of that happening is actually pretty slim, but it’s a niggly wee voice in the back of my head, rabbiting away in the quiet moments. And it does get to you after a while.

But I am determined to ignore it, and get on with living my life, and believe wholeheartedly that when I least expect him, “the one” will come wandering around the corner, and maybe we’ll have the romantic movie meeting with the bumping and the music dropping and the magical eye contact. Gives me a reason for dropping my music all the time. I’m not clumsy, just trying to find me a man.