Do I Have High Standards in Relationships?
I’m going to let you in on a well-known secret;
I have never been in a relationship. Never. Not one. If you took a look at my dating history it probably looks a little bit like this…
Yah. To be honest there’s more action in that GIF than there is in my love life.
But I digress.
I spent a ridiculous amount of time in my teenage years believing there was something very wrong with me because everyone had been in a relationship of some form or another and then there was me.
As an INFP, love, and a strong relationship that builds me up and supports me, is something truly very important to me, and so for years my inability to make that special connection with someone was really, really hard for me, and meant that for years I had some serious issues with my self esteem. Yes, I know its a little cliche to have based my self-worth on men but hey, I was a hormonal, angsty teenager. I’m allowed to be a sad individual!
Now that I’m a little older and wiser (and grouchier) I understand that a man’s love, and men in general, do not have anything to do with your self worth. I am a strong, independent woman who just really wants someone to cuddle.
I call myself a realistic dreamer (which really isn’t a thing, but I’ve decided it is so…) and although I want the fairy tale, with all the romance and the Prince Charming and the true love, I know that doesn’t really exist. Real relationships take work, but the work is what makes it fun, and I am looking forward to the chance to put in that work with another person. Mind you, if he ain’t putting in the work then he be out on his ass.
When I talk to my friends and family about relationships and my lack of, I usually get one of two responses;
“It’ll just happen one day. One day you’ll meet someone and it’ll all make sense”
“Maybe your standards are too high.”
Damn right my standards are high! I am fabulous, a queen who can handle any and all shit that life throws at me. Why in the hell should I ‘lower’ my standards to pick up some weak ass I’m gonna have to drag around after me. My high standards have nothing to do with your inability to keep up with me and my dreams and ambitions. Yes, I would quite like to make a genuine connection with someone, but I am not that desperate for any kind of connection that I’ll settle for a crappy, half-arsed relationship just to find it.
With regards to the former piece of sage advice – I do agree. I do wish that it would perhaps happen a little sooner, but unlike my younger, more desperate self, I am now content to be a badass career woman with ‘ridiculously high standards’ and carry on being a Queen and building up my kingdom until someone comes along with King potential. Well, maybe consort potential. Ain’t nobody getting my throne.
Tell me ladies, have any of you been told you have high standards? Anyone any other input, or sassy retorts to those mere mortals in awe of our high standards of greatness?