Do I Have High Standards in Relationships?

relationships high standards

I’m going to let you in on a well-known secret;

I have never been in a relationship. Never. Not one. If you took a look at my dating history it probably looks a little bit like this…

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Yah. To be honest there’s more action in that GIF than there is in my love life.

But I digress.

I spent a ridiculous amount of time in my teenage years believing there was something very wrong with me because everyone had been in a relationship of some form or another and then there was me.

 

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As an INFP, love, and a strong relationship that builds me up and supports me, is something truly very important to me, and so for years my inability to make that special connection with someone was really, really hard for me, and meant that for years I had some serious issues with my self esteem. Yes, I know its a little cliche to have based my self-worth on men but hey, I was a hormonal, angsty teenager. I’m allowed to be a sad individual!

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Now that I’m a little older and wiser (and grouchier) I understand that a man’s love, and men in general, do not have anything to do with your self worth. I am a strong, independent woman who just really wants someone to cuddle.

I call myself a realistic dreamer (which really isn’t a thing, but I’ve decided it is so…) and although I want the fairy tale, with all the romance and the Prince Charming and the true love, I know that doesn’t really exist. Real relationships take work, but the work is what makes it fun, and I am looking forward to the chance to put in that work with another person. Mind you, if he ain’t putting in the work then he be out on his ass.

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Queen B!!

When I talk to my friends and family about relationships and my lack of, I usually get one of two responses;

“It’ll just happen one day. One day you’ll meet someone and it’ll all make sense”

or

“Maybe your standards are too high.”

Damn right my standards are high! I am fabulous, a queen who can handle any and all shit that life throws at me. Why in the hell should I ‘lower’ my standards to pick up some weak ass I’m gonna have to drag around after me. My high standards have nothing to do with your inability to keep up with me and my dreams and ambitions. Yes, I would quite like to make a genuine connection with someone, but I am not that desperate for any kind of connection that I’ll settle for a crappy, half-arsed relationship just to find it.

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With regards to the former piece of sage advice – I do agree. I do wish that it would perhaps happen a little sooner, but unlike my younger, more desperate self, I am now content to be a badass career woman with ‘ridiculously high standards’ and carry on being a Queen and building up my kingdom until someone comes along with King potential. Well, maybe consort potential. Ain’t nobody getting my throne.

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Tell me ladies, have any of you been told you have high standards? Anyone any other input, or sassy retorts to those mere mortals in awe of our high standards of greatness?

high standards in relationships

  • Tracy

    I don't think having high standards is a bad thing! If you know what you want in a relationship why should you settle for any less?

  • Gabriella

    Girl, I feel you! When I was younger I had kind of lower standards, but after 17 my standards went super high. Not only that, but my I expect my future husband to have high standards too. Take your time. I promise you’ll find someone that is totally worth the wait. I’m glad to hear there are other girls who have super high standards too!

  • Rachel

    Hell yes! Keep those high standards up! I am exactly the same (it's nice to hear from someone else who is too!) I saw all my friends getting into long-term relationships with guys that just seemed boring to me. I wanted passion and excitement and great conversation and I wasn't getting that from anyone at home. So, I decided not to try to fall in love with a guy, but to fall in love with my life. I went travelling and had quite literally the best time of my life, meeting a gorgeous man in the process who meets my enormously high standards. I totally believe the 'your vibe attracts your tribe' motto and would urge anyone to love themselves and their lives first, the rest will follow! Good luck <3

  • Barry

    Interesting to read about a women’s perspective on relationships. I wouldn’t worry too much about having high standards - think my standards are probably too high also. There’s no point in just being in a relationship for the sake of it, says single it’s more fun.

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